A big piece of news: I got Fulbright! I'm really excited, but the waiting isn't over... I still have to find out where they're sending me!
I can breathe a little easier, but it still ain't over... But I am really happy and thankful. God is good. He's going to send me somewhere perfect.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Meh...
Life is frustrating right now. I have nothing to complain about, I just feel really meh... Namely, I'm finding it really hard to write a senior thesis, and I am sooooooo tired of waiting to hear from Fulbright. Checking the mailbox everyday is getting to be agonizing. I just want to know. I'm also mildly afraid of finding out but having the answer not be what I want it to be, but I still just want to know. My nerves can't take it much longer. And if I don't get it, I want as much time as possible to figure out what else to do.
I got in to NYU grad school (Masters in Education - dual certification for teaching English to speakers of other languages and foreign language education) and I could do that, in theory. But I haven't applied for any scholarships yet, so I don't know how affordable that's going to be. And I haven't really looked anywhere else yet. I don't want to just settle on a grad school because I got in there and didn't apply to anywhere else. Sigh.
Why does waiting suck so much???
And then there's the thesis. I love my topic but for some reason the actual WRITING part is just not happening. I can't get going. Ughhhh.
On the happier side of things, I got to hear the lovely Laura Kaczor sing at Penn this week - Laura is a 2004 Penn (and CCC and Full Measure) alum who lives in Nashville now and is starting up a music career. I'm really in to this one song:
Communion Song
I imagine the day was gray, the sun won't shine on days like this
I imagine the crowd was large, their shouts were loud as they raised their fists
On the day that the Son of God carried the cross to Golgotha
On the day that the Son of God gave His life for the likes of us
I can hear the hammer of the nails that pierced His hands and feet
And sometimes I forget that my sin drove those nails in deep
I can see the thief that hung on the cross that stood right by His side
I can hear when Jesus said, "Today you'll join me in paradise,
"Here is My Body, broken for you
Here is My Blood that was shed, shed for you too
Here is My Body, take and remember Me
Here is My Blood, the Cup of Forgiveness that will set you free"
I can see the soldier standing by the tomb that resurrection morn
But I cannot imagine the blinding glory of our risen Lord
He is not here, oh no, He is risen just as He said
Now go and spread the news of Jesus Christ who conquered death
"Here is My Body, broken for you
Here is My Blood that was shed, shed for you too
Here is My Body, take and remember Me
Here is My Blood, the Cup of Forgiveness that will set you free"
When I break the bread and drink the cup at the table of the Lord
I'm reminded of love's sacrifice, where the broken are restored, are restored
"Here is My Body, broken for you
Here is My Blood that was shed, shed for you too
Here is My Body, take and remember Me
Here is My Blood, the Cup of Forgiveness that will set you free"
I got in to NYU grad school (Masters in Education - dual certification for teaching English to speakers of other languages and foreign language education) and I could do that, in theory. But I haven't applied for any scholarships yet, so I don't know how affordable that's going to be. And I haven't really looked anywhere else yet. I don't want to just settle on a grad school because I got in there and didn't apply to anywhere else. Sigh.
Why does waiting suck so much???
And then there's the thesis. I love my topic but for some reason the actual WRITING part is just not happening. I can't get going. Ughhhh.
On the happier side of things, I got to hear the lovely Laura Kaczor sing at Penn this week - Laura is a 2004 Penn (and CCC and Full Measure) alum who lives in Nashville now and is starting up a music career. I'm really in to this one song:
Communion Song
I imagine the day was gray, the sun won't shine on days like this
I imagine the crowd was large, their shouts were loud as they raised their fists
On the day that the Son of God carried the cross to Golgotha
On the day that the Son of God gave His life for the likes of us
I can hear the hammer of the nails that pierced His hands and feet
And sometimes I forget that my sin drove those nails in deep
I can see the thief that hung on the cross that stood right by His side
I can hear when Jesus said, "Today you'll join me in paradise,
"Here is My Body, broken for you
Here is My Blood that was shed, shed for you too
Here is My Body, take and remember Me
Here is My Blood, the Cup of Forgiveness that will set you free"
I can see the soldier standing by the tomb that resurrection morn
But I cannot imagine the blinding glory of our risen Lord
He is not here, oh no, He is risen just as He said
Now go and spread the news of Jesus Christ who conquered death
"Here is My Body, broken for you
Here is My Blood that was shed, shed for you too
Here is My Body, take and remember Me
Here is My Blood, the Cup of Forgiveness that will set you free"
When I break the bread and drink the cup at the table of the Lord
I'm reminded of love's sacrifice, where the broken are restored, are restored
"Here is My Body, broken for you
Here is My Blood that was shed, shed for you too
Here is My Body, take and remember Me
Here is My Blood, the Cup of Forgiveness that will set you free"
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Try again
I think maybe I need to start blogging again. This could be good.
But it's late. Another night. :)
But it's late. Another night. :)
Monday, January 7, 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't know about y'all (yes, I've been in Tennessee for a few weeks now) but I am sooooooo excited about 2008!
My resolutions:
1. I ask God to make me a woman of prayer. I commit to spending one hour each day in communion with Him.
2. I ask God to free me from my battles with money. I desire to understand and know with confidence how He wants me to use the money He puts at my disposal and be 100% obedient to His command.
3. I ask God to teach me to exercise self-control in my thoughts.
4. I ask God for boldness to speak up in 2008. I ask Him to speak His very own words from my mouth. I ask Him to help me draw boundaries and learn to say "no" when it is necessary.
5. I also commit to one hour per week of corporate prayer for God's mercy to fall on Penn's campus and the Philadelphia community as long as I am still living there.
What are you asking God for this year?
My resolutions:
1. I ask God to make me a woman of prayer. I commit to spending one hour each day in communion with Him.
2. I ask God to free me from my battles with money. I desire to understand and know with confidence how He wants me to use the money He puts at my disposal and be 100% obedient to His command.
3. I ask God to teach me to exercise self-control in my thoughts.
4. I ask God for boldness to speak up in 2008. I ask Him to speak His very own words from my mouth. I ask Him to help me draw boundaries and learn to say "no" when it is necessary.
5. I also commit to one hour per week of corporate prayer for God's mercy to fall on Penn's campus and the Philadelphia community as long as I am still living there.
What are you asking God for this year?
Friday, December 7, 2007
Almost Christmas
Well, somehow November turned into December, and there are about 10 days left before I head home for Christmas, and... wow! Time has really flown by.
Life is pretty stressful right now with the semester ending - all those papers I put off till now, all those other papers I just now got to write, and a couple finals to study (i.e. catch up on the reading!) for... It's a lot. But somehow - at least so far - it's not been that bad. I really feel that God is helping me learn to tackle work ONE STEP AT A TIME. Stück für Stück! And that is very encouraging. I'm also experiencing the cool realization of how much I've actually learned. When you don't have quizzes or tests every week, it's easy to lose track of what you've learned and spend a semester thinking you've just read some stuff and shown up for class but haven't actually gotten anything out of it. The trick is just to pack all that acquired knowledge into my essays, or into my *BRAIN* for finals!
Since it's the end of the year, I'm thinking back to the new year's resolutions I made a year ago. Some of them have actually come true! Like, laugh if you want, but I finally quit biting my finger nails! I was hesitant to bother asking God for little stuff too, but my pastor encouraged to entrust Him with anything and everything, and He pulled through! For those who don't know, I've been trying to quit biting my nails basically my whole life. I've quit now for longer than I've ever quit before - about 6 months! I also asked God to help me learn to manage my time better, and while I've by no means mastered this, I definitely see improvement!
I probably should get back to work now. :) Happy Holidays everyone!!!
Life is pretty stressful right now with the semester ending - all those papers I put off till now, all those other papers I just now got to write, and a couple finals to study (i.e. catch up on the reading!) for... It's a lot. But somehow - at least so far - it's not been that bad. I really feel that God is helping me learn to tackle work ONE STEP AT A TIME. Stück für Stück! And that is very encouraging. I'm also experiencing the cool realization of how much I've actually learned. When you don't have quizzes or tests every week, it's easy to lose track of what you've learned and spend a semester thinking you've just read some stuff and shown up for class but haven't actually gotten anything out of it. The trick is just to pack all that acquired knowledge into my essays, or into my *BRAIN* for finals!
Since it's the end of the year, I'm thinking back to the new year's resolutions I made a year ago. Some of them have actually come true! Like, laugh if you want, but I finally quit biting my finger nails! I was hesitant to bother asking God for little stuff too, but my pastor encouraged to entrust Him with anything and everything, and He pulled through! For those who don't know, I've been trying to quit biting my nails basically my whole life. I've quit now for longer than I've ever quit before - about 6 months! I also asked God to help me learn to manage my time better, and while I've by no means mastered this, I definitely see improvement!
I probably should get back to work now. :) Happy Holidays everyone!!!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
How the heck did it get to be November?!? and Culture Shock-ish-ness: Part Two
Whoa, so time is going by fast, and occasionally I fear that it's leaving me behind... Doesn't it realize I'm really not very athletic and can't run that fast? Or more importantly, that I can't run fast for long?
So despite life feeling like a marathon at times, I'm good. Life is good. A little weird, a little confusing, and sometimes a bit complicated, but good.
I have an insane amount of stuff to report on, but I'm gonna try to stick to the highlights. Let's start with New Orleans! That was one of the funnest trips I've ever been on. There were 8 of us who went, and it was such a fun, awesome group of people, and you get really tight when you spend 5 days straight with 8 people. There were so many laughs and good times and amazing conversations... wow. Not to mention experiencing post-Katrina New Orleans. It was extremely interesting to see how the city is rebuilding itself. It's tough to hear that a lot of people don't really want to move back - many people who never had the means to leave New Orleans before have now landed elsewhere and seen that they could live better there - but those that do have so much courage. Talking to the homeowners was amazing because despite all that they've been through, they still stand strong, and they're rebuilding their homes and picking themselves up again. One of the homeowners showed us pictures before and after the hurricane, and I tried to imagine that happening to my house, but I can't. And these people have realized that all the material possessions in this world don't really amount to much - you can have them taken away completely and still be happy. A lot of people are just so thankful to still have their loved ones safe and sound that everything else doesn't matter so much.
So that was New Orleans! The weekend after that, Mom came to visit me, which was of course super fun. We didn't really do a whole whole lot, just hung out together and had some nice meals. :) And we saw a cool new movie called Across the Universe. It's a movie about the 60's, and it's actually a musical of sorts, but all the music is by the Beatles. Verrrrry interesting, I definitely recommend it.
Other than those two fun weekends, there hasn't been a whole lot to report on that's out of the ordinary - school, more school... I do have a choir concert coming up, and I'm excited about that. The music is really coming together and some of it is just really amazing. Actually it's all pretty amazing, but I especially like certain pieces.
I guess most of what's been going on is in my head. The "reverse culture shock" has turned into something completely different and unlike what I expected; in fact it no longer has much to do with the Germany-America comparison. It's like being somewhere else for a year somehow became a catalyst for all sorts of "reactions" - new thoughts and feelings that kinda showed up out of the blue. Basically - I am becoming extremely sensitive to the social injustices of this world. I gotta admit, right now it's kind of frustrating, because I'm becoming more and more aware of the problems, but solutions seem so far out of reach. But I really feel convicted to do something about it.
I guess it's always seemed a little strange to me to live on an Ivy League campus surrounded by very low-income families and more homeless people than I'd ever met in my life prior to coming to Penn. It challenges me more and more each day to constantly ask myself what the ultimate goal of my studies is. What good is an Ivy League education if I can't feed someone who's starving nextdoor? What good are my aspirations if they do not help others to be able to have aspirations at all?
God is really penetrating every aspect of my life with this. I can't shop without a conscience any more - I have to think about who made that shirt and the conditions under which they did it. I can't have a cup of coffee without wondering if the farmer who grew it was paid fairly for it. And I can't walk past Wawa anymore without looking to see if someone is sitting outside in need of a meal.
I honestly have no explanation for it other than God Himself. Trust me, I would never come up with this. I like coffee! And although I'm a lame shopper, I like clothes too! And talking to homeless people can be awkward. But now that my eyes have been opened to injustices, I can't walk past them, buy them, wear them... Something isn't right. And I really feel like I cannot profess to be a Christian and ignore Jesus' teaching on social justice.
I got a couple cool books from Amazon that I'm excited to read and hopefully get some ideas from. One is called Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ronald J. Sider. The other is called God's Politics by Jim Wallis. That one was mentioned in another book I've now read for the second time that has been a major catalyst for all of these thoughts: The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claibourne. In it, he challenges a lot of the assumptions Christians in America make everyday that are not necessarily biblical, things like the idea that being a Christian means voting Republican, and that tithes and offerings are meant for the church, not for the church to give away to the poor. I highly recommend the book - even to those who may not call themselves Christians. For one thing, it makes a suggestion for what Christianity is really supposed to look like; for another, it gives us a vision for a better world.
So obviously this isn't the usual type of blog I write, so I hope it didn't throw anyone for too much of a loop. I guess I just felt I had to share what's been on my mind, since it's been on my mind a lot. I do not write this to judge others; for one, I myself am as guilty of perpetuating many injustices in this world as anyone else, plus I also didn't come up with this stuff on my own - God put it on my heart, and if He wants to, He will put it on the hearts of others too. I don't know what will ultimately come out of all this, but I can't help but think it will not be small or short-term.
And that's my update on life! Till next time...
So despite life feeling like a marathon at times, I'm good. Life is good. A little weird, a little confusing, and sometimes a bit complicated, but good.
I have an insane amount of stuff to report on, but I'm gonna try to stick to the highlights. Let's start with New Orleans! That was one of the funnest trips I've ever been on. There were 8 of us who went, and it was such a fun, awesome group of people, and you get really tight when you spend 5 days straight with 8 people. There were so many laughs and good times and amazing conversations... wow. Not to mention experiencing post-Katrina New Orleans. It was extremely interesting to see how the city is rebuilding itself. It's tough to hear that a lot of people don't really want to move back - many people who never had the means to leave New Orleans before have now landed elsewhere and seen that they could live better there - but those that do have so much courage. Talking to the homeowners was amazing because despite all that they've been through, they still stand strong, and they're rebuilding their homes and picking themselves up again. One of the homeowners showed us pictures before and after the hurricane, and I tried to imagine that happening to my house, but I can't. And these people have realized that all the material possessions in this world don't really amount to much - you can have them taken away completely and still be happy. A lot of people are just so thankful to still have their loved ones safe and sound that everything else doesn't matter so much.
So that was New Orleans! The weekend after that, Mom came to visit me, which was of course super fun. We didn't really do a whole whole lot, just hung out together and had some nice meals. :) And we saw a cool new movie called Across the Universe. It's a movie about the 60's, and it's actually a musical of sorts, but all the music is by the Beatles. Verrrrry interesting, I definitely recommend it.
Other than those two fun weekends, there hasn't been a whole lot to report on that's out of the ordinary - school, more school... I do have a choir concert coming up, and I'm excited about that. The music is really coming together and some of it is just really amazing. Actually it's all pretty amazing, but I especially like certain pieces.
I guess most of what's been going on is in my head. The "reverse culture shock" has turned into something completely different and unlike what I expected; in fact it no longer has much to do with the Germany-America comparison. It's like being somewhere else for a year somehow became a catalyst for all sorts of "reactions" - new thoughts and feelings that kinda showed up out of the blue. Basically - I am becoming extremely sensitive to the social injustices of this world. I gotta admit, right now it's kind of frustrating, because I'm becoming more and more aware of the problems, but solutions seem so far out of reach. But I really feel convicted to do something about it.
I guess it's always seemed a little strange to me to live on an Ivy League campus surrounded by very low-income families and more homeless people than I'd ever met in my life prior to coming to Penn. It challenges me more and more each day to constantly ask myself what the ultimate goal of my studies is. What good is an Ivy League education if I can't feed someone who's starving nextdoor? What good are my aspirations if they do not help others to be able to have aspirations at all?
God is really penetrating every aspect of my life with this. I can't shop without a conscience any more - I have to think about who made that shirt and the conditions under which they did it. I can't have a cup of coffee without wondering if the farmer who grew it was paid fairly for it. And I can't walk past Wawa anymore without looking to see if someone is sitting outside in need of a meal.
I honestly have no explanation for it other than God Himself. Trust me, I would never come up with this. I like coffee! And although I'm a lame shopper, I like clothes too! And talking to homeless people can be awkward. But now that my eyes have been opened to injustices, I can't walk past them, buy them, wear them... Something isn't right. And I really feel like I cannot profess to be a Christian and ignore Jesus' teaching on social justice.
I got a couple cool books from Amazon that I'm excited to read and hopefully get some ideas from. One is called Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ronald J. Sider. The other is called God's Politics by Jim Wallis. That one was mentioned in another book I've now read for the second time that has been a major catalyst for all of these thoughts: The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claibourne. In it, he challenges a lot of the assumptions Christians in America make everyday that are not necessarily biblical, things like the idea that being a Christian means voting Republican, and that tithes and offerings are meant for the church, not for the church to give away to the poor. I highly recommend the book - even to those who may not call themselves Christians. For one thing, it makes a suggestion for what Christianity is really supposed to look like; for another, it gives us a vision for a better world.
So obviously this isn't the usual type of blog I write, so I hope it didn't throw anyone for too much of a loop. I guess I just felt I had to share what's been on my mind, since it's been on my mind a lot. I do not write this to judge others; for one, I myself am as guilty of perpetuating many injustices in this world as anyone else, plus I also didn't come up with this stuff on my own - God put it on my heart, and if He wants to, He will put it on the hearts of others too. I don't know what will ultimately come out of all this, but I can't help but think it will not be small or short-term.
And that's my update on life! Till next time...
Thursday, October 18, 2007
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